Bloorp.

Hey, $19.99 for Painful Therapy! What a steal…?

Snapped in San Francisco’s Chinatown while doubling over with laughter because I’m a badass multi-tasker.

Oh, Netflix Canada…

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If there’s a Tumblr page dedicated to awkward dog sitting poses, I’ve obviously been far too lazy to look for it.

I BRING YOU LOVE.

Alternate title: R.I.P. Hemmy’s balls

A few things have caused me to be a little less than happy lately, but the circumstance leading to this picture is most certainly not one of those things.

If you are familiar with the roads near the town of Penetanguishene, Ontario, the above image may not appear to be as out-of-place as it was to me.

En route to Andrea’s cottage, we passed this unusual setup of faded stuffed animals affixed to various sizes of bicycles in single file.

But this wasn’t the original setup, according to Andrea’s friend Anna. Last time, she said, the stuffed animals were placed behind desks as if in school. (Presumably learning how to ride a bike.)

On the drive home from the cottage, we unanimously voted on stopping by the setup to take photos. Anna gladly played along and snapped one of me running from bears that were no doubt gaining on me.

Of course, “not stopping to take silly pictures and continuing on our merry way” was another option.

But where’s the fun in that?

Spotted at the same store that carries the Almost Batman t-shirt.

There are many great things about this product I’d never buy.

Never mind the fact that it’s “made up of best material!!” but it’s also apparently “The best gift for children.”

I disagree with this erroneous statement and would go so far as to say that it’s the ONLY gift for children.

Am I right?

My parents thought it’d be a good idea to give me a bottle of creme de menthe that had been sitting in their dusty basement bar for at least 20 years. I’m not sure why.

But here it is, and the novelty factor is what made me keep it. Along with several of the other questions — and answers — that inevitably came along with it:

Yes, this picture was taken on the floor.

No, I don’t know why I didn’t just put it on the table.

Yes, it is unopened.

No, I have not (yet) opened it.

Yes, I’m worried that it took on radioactive properties in the last two decades.

No, I will not be opening it anytime soon.

Since I’ll never be able to tell just by glancing at its unholy green hue, it may be safe(r) to say that some bottles are just better left unopened.

Not that this would ever happen, but if someone were to ask me in an accusatory tone, “Why haven’t you posted anything for so long? Did you get a dog or something?!”

I could then very truthfully respond, “As a matter of fact, yes. Yes, I did get a dog.”

I present to you my three-month-old Westie puppy, Hemingway, a.k.a. Hemmy.

I’ve always, always wanted a dog and there are days when Hemmy is curled up in my lap, his fuzzy head drooped over my knee and I can’t believe this cute little guy is all mine.

I’ll try not to make all my posts about him. I don’t want to be That Person. But if Hemmy does end up being the subject of many future posts…can you blame me?

Now without man!

Caption courtesy of my awesome bro.

Snapped at a dollar store in the ‘burbs.

“So what do you prefer?” asked Matt. We were strolling through the textile aisles of Ikea and came face-to-face with the two carpets in the above photo.

“Oscar or Cookie Monster?”