Humour double fail
If you’re a buffoon, please don’t try to make me laugh. Epic fail will ensue and I will tell you why. July 2002. It’s the summer between high school and university and I’m working customer service for a large suburban mall. Stupid Man approaches the booth, immediately starting a pointless conversation about a seemingly anorexic woman he had met the week before, and...
When I’m at No Frills and I see a couple spending five minutes on what...– My friend Kevin on how his relationship with his long-time boyfriend is the exact opposite of this.
I haven’t seen such disgusting efficiency since that...– One commenter’s reaction to the French fry-coated hot dog posted on BoingBoing, pictured below:
The Pea Soup Party
I still remember the first time I tasted pea soup. It was Grade 11 and my French teacher had mentioned the dish in passing. Our class of 16-some students all looked at each other and one of us piped up, “Sir, what’s pea soup?” His eyes widened and he was so surprised that he responded incredulously in English, “No one here has ever had pea soup?!” We all shook our...
If I knew what I was getting myself into, I never would have bought this game. Of course, thanks to n0wak for the indefinite loan of his PS3 while he wanders the streets of Paris, it was hard to resist. Oh, who am I kidding? I knew exactly what what was going to happen. And I let it happen. Because I wanted it to happen. Besides, the last time I checked, I cracked the top five on the leaderboards...
I just want to tell you, pancakes are delicious.– Yet another random pancake reference from my strange ex-Marine cousin in a chat with my brother. It never ends with that guy.
It's as gross as it looks: Part III
Deep fried Coke made its first appearance at the State Fair of Texas in 2006, which also happened to be the same year I first attended the annual event. If you’ve never heard of deep fried Coke, you may be just as perplexed as I initially was, wondering, “How the hell do you deep fry Coke?” Well, you…don’t. The name is a bit misleading, but it’s easy to...
It's as gross as it looks: Part II
(Continued from Part I) Some ideas seem like good ones at the time, even when you can find fault in just about every aspect. Take, for instance, deep fried guacamole. Avocados are among my many food weaknesses. If there’s avocado involved, its consumption is pretty much guaranteed. And guacamole? It’s unnatural the way I inhale it. Deep fried guacamole, however, was something I...
It's as gross as it looks: Part I
In honour of the State Fair of Texas and Big Tex (above), I’ve decided to relive some of my finer (read: coronary-inducing) food moments from past visits, if only to remind myself that the following delicacies somehow ended up in my now-grease-lined belly, no matter how much I may deny it. We begin with Frito Pie in October 2007. Annie and Jonathan, my lovely Dallas-residing friends,...
Did you know I can eat more pancakes than Andrew?– This random chat message was brought to you by none other than my weirdo ex-Marine cousin, which was an equally random reference to an equally out-of-nowhere message to my brother.